I grew up one of the youngest of a somewhat large group of cousins, I still like to think of myself as one of the favorites of my beloved Grandma Irma. My cousin's and older siblings (I am the youngest sister) all probably still think of me as the most spoiled. I do have to mention that there is at least one cousin just as spoiled as myself, Shannon! I have many fond memories, but most were spent at my grandma's with the cousins. For holidays or just to visit, my uncle and aunt would often visit with their two girls. My parent's and I would always go for a visit while they were in Macon and I was always excited to spend time with Amy and Teresa. Both of them were older than me, but it was somehow still so much fun. I specifically remember being so jealous of their sleeping bags. I was never allowed to spend the night many places and when I was, I was generally safe and sound at one of the grandmother's or my sister's place. When I spent the night with either of them, there was no need for a sleeping bag, I was little and I slept with them. I couldn't have been any older than five or six, but I was so envious of those sleeping bags laid out in my grandma's living room floor when Amy and Teresa were visiting. I am sure one was probably purchased down the road for me, but I do not remember actually getting one, just really wanting theirs. It is funny what a person remembers from childhood and what they don't. I do remember telling Teresa my biggest secret, only to have her tell my family when we were all in the kitchen. I will save the rest of that for another day...
Flash forward several years and Amy had married, moved to Colorado, and had children of her own. Years after our beloved grandmother passed away and we no longer gathered at her house for holidays, we sadly had another loss. The news spread that our Uncle Charles had passed away not long after the Christmas holidays. We were all heartbroken and somehow most of us were able to travel to Alabama for his funeral. Looking back, I wish we could have had the entire family together more times for celebration in the years after our grandma's passing. Uncle Charles was a funny guy, always making people laugh with his quick comebacks and when we all got together to remember him, there were tears, but there were many laughs between cousins too. I remember traveling to the graveside services in the backseat with Amy. To this day I can not remember what she said, but I remember laughing really really hard and how much she had lightened the mood. That was one of the few times in later years that I was blessed to have spent time with her. None of us had any way of knowing the sad news we would soon get.
I am unable to recall the specifics, but I do remember my mom calling to tell me Amy had been diagnosed with cancer. I was heartbroken, but hopeful because I knew there were not many people who were as solid in their faith and the Lord as Amy. Soon after Amy's diagnose she started a blog, AmyCaldwellBixby.blogspot.com. Her blog was able to keep friends and family and later down the road complete strangers all informed of her progress and whatever might be on her mind. A miracle in it's own, Amy not only had cancer, but was pregnant and delivered a sweet baby boy after her diagnosis. I was always looking to see if Amy had posted a new blog and if so what things she had to say. So when Chris and I started our IVF journey, Amy's blog was one of the first things I thought of. She was able to keep all of us informed and this was a wonderful way for us to keep our friends, family, and anyone curious about the IVF process informed.
As Amy's battle with cancer neared the end long before mine and Chris's battle with having a child of our own started, I had a very special conversation with Amy. Going into that call, I knew it would be the last time I spoke with her before her passing and although that conversation will remain private and between us, she was remarkably strong. Throughout her battle with cancer Amy remained stronger than I could ever imagine being at any given time. I know she had bad days, but she was an amazingly determined woman. After reading that book and remembering Amy's incredibly strong fight for her life, I have to admit I felt guilty. Our situation is upsetting, difficult at times, and frustrating beyond belief, but there is always someone fighting a harder battle. Amy was fighting to keep her life and we are currently fighting to create one. Although she is not on earth with us any longer, I know she is in a better place and I like to think she's keeping Grandma company until the rest of us get there. I love you Amy.
 |
| Amy & Teresa with the sleeping bags I wanted so bad. |
 |
| Shannon Just as spoiled as myself but we love her to pieces |
 |
| Brandi & Amy |
 |
| Brandi and her parents at Grandma Irma's |
 |
| The woman who loved us all so very much, Grandma Irma |
IVF Update: We just started injections yesterday (18th March) and we will soon have a new blog all about how those are working out. Our next appointment at Bourn Hall is on 28 March and we are praying that they see what they need to on the scan in order to continue with the whole process. Stayed tuned!
No comments:
Post a Comment